Sewing

For the longest time I've always wanted a sewing machine. I've been making clothes, by hand since 7th grade. My dad graciously bought me my very own sewing machine in late high school. I loaned it to a family friend and never saw it again.

Since then I've been sewing off and on.

Noticing my love and passion, Randi bought me one for my last birthday. And I've let it sit in a box for almost a year.

Fact is, when I was seriously low I made the sad decision to let go of my mom's old sewing items. I had consolidated all of her things into an ugly plastic container with every thread color imaginable, needles, pins and finishing items.

I desperately miss it. And also feel lost without it. I wanted to sew with her. But she wasn't there. But I at least had her items. The things she used.

I know if I start over that maybe one day my daughter will have my things. But it's the starting over part that is hard.

Which is more important: starting over or creating? I think the latter

Les Miserables

I just discovered this. I am so beyond excited for it. Maybe because of the plot itself, or how they recorded the singing. Either way watch both trailers. It's going to be amazing.

SONG: Girl on Fire

Alicia Keys is a musical genius. Her lyrics just inspire. Her voice makes you want to sing as loud as humanely possible. Her songs are uplifting and make you move. 

And she has a new album coming out. Thank goodness!



She's just a girl, and she's on fire
Hotter than a fantasy, longer like a highway
She's living in a world, and it's on fire
Feeling the catastrophe, but she knows she can fly away

Oh, she got both feet on the ground
And she's burning it down
Oh, she got her head in the clouds
And she's not backing down

This girl is on fire
This girl is on fire
She's walking on fire
This girl is on fire

Looks like a girl, but she's a flame
So bright, she can burn your eyes
Better look the other way
You can try but you'll never forget her name
She's on top of the world
Hottest of the hottest girls say

Oh, we got our feet on the ground
And we're burning it down
Oh, got our head in the clouds
And we're not coming down

This girl is on fire
This girl is on fire
She's walking on fire
This girl is on fire

Everybody stands, as she goes by
Cause they can see the flame that's in her eyes
Watch her when she's lighting up the night
Nobody knows that she's a lonely girl
And it's a lonely world
But she gon' let it burn, baby, burn, baby

This girl is on fire
This girl is on fire
She's walking on fire
This girl is on fire

Oh, oh, oh...

She's just a girl, and she's on fire

awake my soul...

If there ever is a song that is constantly on my mind, makes me sing, or pops in when you least expect it. It's this. 

I'm not listing this as a song because this song, the lyrics, the instruments, are a statement. 

I LOVE THIS BAND. I love them just as much as I love Coldplay and Dave Matthews Band. Unbelievable musicians.



How fickle my heart and how woozy my eyes
I struggle to find any truth in your lies
And now my heart stumbles on things I don't know
My weakness I feel I must finally show

Lend me your hand and we'll conquer them all
But lend me your heart and I'll just let you fall
Lend me your eyes I can change what you see
But your soul you must keep, totally free
Har har, har har
har har, har har

awake my soul...
awake my soul...

How fickle my heart and how woozy my eyes
I struggle to find any truth in your lies
And now my heart stumbles on things I don't know
My weakness I feel I must finally show
Har har, har har
har har, har har

In these bodies we will live, 
in these bodies we will die
Where you invest your love, 
you invest your life

In these bodies we will live, 
in these bodies we will die
Where you invest your love, 
you invest your life

awake my soul...
awake my soul...
awake my soul...
For you were made to meet your maker

awake my soul...
awake my soul...
awake my soul...
For you were made to meet your maker
You were made to meet your maker

SONG: Walk

Super sad to learn they're taking a break. It has been 16 (or 18?) years. And they were born out of pretty extreme circumstances with Kurt Cobain taking his life. Dave Grohl, current singer/songwriter/man of genius frontman for the Foo Fighters was the drummer of Nirvana. He's just plain awesome.

SONG: Distance and Time

Distance and time...I'll be waiting

Alicia Keys - Distance and Time

What is so scary about happy?

I have grand illusions of who I should be, whom I should be with, and where I am going.
Maybe they're not grand illusions. I think they are because I've been thinking, dreaming, and conjuring them up for so many years and have yet to fully realize any of them.

Why? Why is it so hard to make dreams into reality? What are we/am I afraid of? 

I know that when they do start to happen I will fully start living my life.

And that is scary.

I will finally allow someone to love me.

 To be open and honest and loved. 

I will be happy in my career that I love. 

I will be happy in the body that is mine and only mine. 

I will be happy.

What is so scary about happy?

Serenity Now

I feel like I've had several "Serenity Now" feelings in my 20s. Periods of calm. A sense of peace and that everything in the universe is ok. Of course there's always that nagging feeling in the back of your head about that student loan you are so close to paying off or trying to save for the future when temptation is at every door step. But those are the constant worries. The things that never truly go away, but aren't in the forefront of your mind. 

Looking back I think these periods are always when I have a plan. A good solid plan for the future that is attainable. Unfortunately, a lot of these periods of calm turned into periods of total chaos. I think it was part denial and part fakeness. Faking to believe that things were changing. That I was actually doing all that I needed to do in order to make a solid change. 

And that's the kicker. Truly feeling ready for a change. It's not about turning 30 in less than 3 months. Although I would be kidding myself if I didn't say that were a factor. Instead I think it's more of reaching a point of hey, I'm out of my 20s of self-discovery, making mistakes, trying out things, and playing. Now is time to get real. I have a good sense of "me" and want to continue to improve on the "me" going forward. 

Because essentially it's all about moving forward. And that is what gives me my Serenity. 

DATE NIGHT

Looking for an awesome idea for a Date Night? Or even something new and exciting with an old friend? Write out your list of fun hobbies you like to do, or use this nifty spreadsheet. See which ones you have in common and make a date out of it! Such a great idea!

Every now and then a song comes along that just tugs at your heart. It's like all the words you ever wanted to say to someone you cared about and laid out perfectly with the music behind it to make it perfect. 

This is one of those songs.

Jason Mraz - I Won't Give Up